I am at the sea.
Something about it.
I didn’t grow up by the sea.
On lakes and rivers though.
I once blew my ear drum jumping off a friend’s boat house.
I’m not sure about heights now.
Apart from the mountains.
But, floating in the water.
Like a womb some say.
The sea is choppy.
I don’t feel at ease in it.
Small waves, if you can call them that.
I am trying to find comfort.
My mom doesn’t like me swimming alone in the sea.
I don’t blame her.
But I am getting better at it.
The sea is something to just “be” with.
I have a recurring dream.
I’m on a via ferrata.
It’s an exposed rock face.
A vertical drop.
But, there’s no way forward.
There’s no way back.
And I can’t stay stuck.
Danger.
No way out of it.
And then I wake up.
One step at a time.
I’m with a friend.
I share a story of serendipity.
He replies, “Ahh. Amore Fati.”
Without pausing to think, I ask, “What’s that?”
Latin.
Love of fate.
I smile, and a bit of water fills my eyes.
I’m reminded of something.
Something that’s given me comfort these months.
"Why are you so afraid?
Do you still have no faith?"
Happy Summer.
Jamie
Powerful writing, Jamie. ❤️
Love this! Happy summer